I’d like to honestly say that it was nice to see you today, but really, I could have gone without the introduction. A�It’s not your fault. A�I know you are here to fly, and I know I am here for you, but today, I am struggling. A�My patience is nonexistent, and I am so tired. A�I realize that this is not your problem. A�I see that your focus needs to beA�how your luggage will fit in the overhead locker, and no, I cannot not lift that bag for you. A�Yeah…today you and I are not off to a great start.
I know that I am supposed to be bubbly, smily, cute, and so happy to be on this plane, but you are the fifth flight full of persons that I have seen today, and I want no more of this ‘Can of Pringles in the Sky.’ A�It’s not you, it’s me.A� For the record, I don’t likeA�Pringles, and if I hear ONE more call light pressed so that I can pick up your trash or because you didn’t bring games for your child to play, I may pop! A�”That button is not a toy!”
It was supposed to be my day off actually, but scheduling lassoed me in. A�They tend to do that and unfortunately you are the one that suffers. A�I suffer too, if that’s any consolation. A�If my smile is strained, it’s not because you are the 20th person who has asked me, “What do you have to drink?” A�Although I find this question annoying by now, because most people in this century can read picture menus, I understand everyone has an off-day. A�I really wish I had one of those right now as I need a vacation. A�I proceed to tell you that we are out of chicken and you throw a fit. A�Your off-day has turned into a bad day. A�Join the club.
I truly am forcing one of the most genuineA�grins that I can muster. A�This takes practice, and I have a lot of smile forcing practice. A�I only got threeA�hours of sleep last night, and it’s not because I was out partying. A�Oh how I wish. A� I live an all-the-time jet lagged life, and it hurts both of us. A�It hurts my health and it hurts your positive travel experience. A�Oh yeah, I have also been subsisting on chocolate candy bars and coffee all day. A�This is not healthy. A�Do not do live like this.
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I hope you will forgive me for not being the image of a perfect flight attendant today. A�I am about 90 percent sure that I will have a chance to redeem myself, probably in twenty more minutes when I enter round six and see the next group of passengers.
Happy flying and many apologies,
Your Lovely Flight Attendant