I have been post-poning this post. It is one that has the potential to be highly entertaining, as well as self-incriminating, but mostly self-incriminating.
Two posts ago, I gave my advice on dating flight attendants. The two-word post was meant for the laughs, the Facebook likes, and the website clicks. It worked.
But the truth? Well, that’s different. It’s scary for me to write about what is really happening, and honestly, I don’t know “How To Date A Flight Attendant”, I just know what it feels like to be young and single, and to have a job that allows me to meet people, on a regular basis, from all over the world.
I have appreciated the unexpected, hoped for the follow-up, cried the goodbyes, have disappointed, and been disappointed. I wonder if I can date “normal”, when dinner dates in Kauai, walking hand-in-hand through Rome, and cuddling in Costa Rica become what is normal. The flying, the travel, and the enjoyment that I find through all of this creates a most confusing, highly entertaining, and fairytale dating world.
But, oh the stories. The places and the situations have made their marks, the stories etched in my mind, some viewed with fondness, some coated with a tinge of rejection. I smile when I think about each, and appreciate them for what they are. Maybe one day I’ll write about the British guy, the adventure film entrepreneur, or the fighter pilot, but as of now, I am still building my transparently-honest writing muscle, which will possibly be strong enough about the time carpel tunnel sets in.
Now, I am finding that more and more often, I must double-check my judgment, because “This would make such a good story” is never a good reason, when it’s the only reason, or to discard common sense and hurt other people’s feelings. The more time that I live “The Flight Attendant Life”, I realize that, in the pauses between this cute boy and that, I feel my heart’s slight tug, internally saying, “Kara, I don’t know how many more meet and greets I can take.”
Because flight attendants have the reputation of having boyfriends (I just realized that is almost a gender neutral statement…get it? haha) in every city, and travel encounters tend to only lend themselves to superficial, lustful relationships, I constantly feel that I am not taken seriously, not being appreciated for my depth and sincerity. Instead, I am objectified based on my image. But, I am intensely loyal, and each person that I have met, has now, a space in my memory bank.
I value what this dating life is teaching me about myself, and more than teaching me of what I am looking for in a significant other, the experiences are making me into who I need to be for that someone else. I don’t wish that I was settled and married, like many of my close friends, but I do question my ability to make a committed effort to build just one friendship. Could I actually date someone for six months? A year? Would I like being in a relationship? I don’t know the answer to those questions. I know how to flirt, and bat my eyes, and giggle, and love the challenge of the-getting-the-number-game, but…
But it’s all fleeting, and a cycle, one that repeats, and repeats, and repeats.
I was surprised at the thought that crossed my mind a couple of days ago. “Maybe I am ready to make an effort to put time and energy into one person, try a this whole relationship thing. I wonder how it would go? I guess I won’t know unless I try.”
I have a theory, and believe it to be so true. It’s this:
You know those days when you are least expecting something wonderful? Something wonderful always happens.
So, that is how it will be. I’m going to continue to enjoy my life, because I am in a good space. Free to travel. Free to go on adventures. Free to make the choices that I need to make for me. And somewhere in-between loving yoga, learning spanish, girls weekends in Waikiki, beach biking, tortilla entreprenuering, and my list, something wonderful will happen…