I have 38 minutes to write a blog. 38 minutes to tell you about the last two weeks of my life; two weeks that feels more like two months. 38 minutes is not enough. If you didn’t know, it usually takes me three hours to write a decent blog, tag it with SEO, insert photos, and do the social shares. Blogging is a full-time job in my life (that does not make a full-time income). If I had it my way though, it would be the first writing that I do. It’s my favorite writing. Instead, freelance client work, backlogged partnered writing, and pop-up adventures have me distracted. The other night, I leaned my head against the steering wheel of my car after pulling into a parking spot; my jaw gritted in anxiousness, my fists clenched in frustration. I closed my eyes and sighed. When will I feel like I’m not failing at life?!?!
Intrinsically and in reality, I know that “failing at life” is not actually what’s happening, but have you ever felt that way? That you are just a few steps behind where you need to be, but you are doing the best that you can? And that’s not very good actually. If I was hearing a friend talk the way about herself that I talk to myself, I would think she was crazy. I would say, “WTF Girl!?! Do you realize you just did a massive career change, huge lifestyle flip, and said a heartbreaking goodbye, and within all of that, you genuinely can say, ‘I’m happy.’ That’s amazing.
Change is hard. As simple and as true as that. I know from experience, and I have to tell you that I’m super proud of you for the changes that you are making in your own life to create the life you want for yourself. Remember, it’s not about what’s happening right now; it’s about what you are doing right now to bridge your success for your future. And that’s amazing!
This week, I’ve really felt the effects of my job switch. I’m missing Copenhagen like crazy. I’m wishing I felt competent and confident in my new career. I desperately want to finish blogs about Israel, YouTube videos from Mexico, and pitch articles. I have an overflowing spirit of creativity and it’s a little trapped right now. I know that’s ok. Things will change soon, because that’s one thing we can always be sure of in life— change.
I’ve gone from a job that I performed on autopilot to a new one of constant learning. I feel blessed a grateful to be at a place and in an environment where I can learn so much. It’s rare and special, but as much as I recognize that, I also recognize that being ‘right here’ is not my dream. But to get to dreams, you have to do your time. I tell you this, because you bare witness to an amazing life that I live. I was just in Paris, Israel, and Mexico. I am submerged in the aviation industry, and that’s pretty cool. I live in a beautiful beach town and have great friendships, but all of this has been a journey of one thing building on another. Take on today. Let tomorrow be. You’ll get there my Darling.
And because I need to wrap this up, but I also want the title to make sense to you based on the content, I will end with this:
Holy hell you Private Flight Attendants!!! I never knew that looking for fresh orange juice in a certain size and certain brand could cause so much anxiety, stress, and all out internal determination to, “Find that shit.” And please tell me, how is it you look at three gas stations for Hot Tamales and NO one even knows what they are?!? The art and etiquette of finding catering for airplanes, huh? This commercial girl has a lot of learning to go…
Love you all,