Flight Attendants meet people every day, everywhere, all of the time, but contrary to popular belief, flight attendants aren’t constantly being asked out on dates; giving, or getting numbers.  Keep in mind a flight attendant is ‘at the office,’ and we do try to keep our work world professional.  That being said, I’ll admit that I do look for eye candy, or IFB’s (Inflight Boyfriends) on my flights.  It’s a flight attendant’s inflight entertainment.   I will also admit that, on occasion, I do get numbers from passengers, and I do give out my number to passengers, without being unprofessional.  And, my last confession is 80 to 90 percent of the time though, I throw the number given to me away, because of the style it was delivered in.  I don’t have time for sleazy, cheesy, or dumb, and neither do other flight attendants, or any woman worth a man’s time for that matter.

Recently,  readers have requested that I write a blog shedding light on how to give, or get, a flight attendant’s number.  I’ll start out with this little gem of wisdom:  99.5 percent of the time, as a passenger, you should NEVER NEVER NEVER ask the flight attendant, “Can I have your number?”  Don’t do it, and trust me on this.  If you want to see her again, date her, or make sure she, and her fly girls, and fly guys aren’t laughing at you in the galley, you will heed these words of advice.

There are ways to give a flight attendant your number, without coming across as sleazy cheesy, or dumb, and if you follow the advice, you will have a much better chance of being memorable, and memorable in a good way.  It’s really not that hard.  Just keep your head out of your ass, and be a fairly normal human being, and you may get a shot at Dating The Flight Attendant.

How-To Give A Flight Attendant Your Number

It Starts With Your Seat

The aisle seat is important not only for easy access to the lavatory, but also to the flight attendant.  As a flight attendant, talking to an aisle seat passenger is much less awkward than talking to the soul in the window.  Cause if it’s the window, I’m basically flirting with seats A, B, AND C, which is just awkward.  If you sit in an aisle, you have more of a natural chance at asking the flight attendant questions regarding the flight, or strike up conversation without including all of your seat mates.


Make Eye Contact

Flight Attendants see tons of people, every single day, but it’s surprising at how few of those people actually take a minute to acknowledge the flight attendant with direct eye contact.  Direct eye contact, and a friendly hello is very much appreciated, but please, don’t go over board.  There is a line, and it’s not even that fine, between staring at a flight attendant, and  looking her up and down like a piece of meat.

Crazy Flight Attendant

Give a genuine compliment

Telling a flight attendant that she is beautiful is probably not the best angle of attack, but complimenting her by saying, “I like your uniform.  It looks very professional on you,” does not come across as creepy.  Or, find something unique about that flight attendant.  Sometimes, passengers notice that I wear black sparkly TOMS for my serving shoes, and they acknowledge that by saying “I like your shoes.”  This always receives a smile in response.  A woman wants to be valued, and does appreciate compliments, but as flight attendants, we are often objectified, so if you want us to know who you are, and care who you are, you will find something about us that adds to our worth.

Galley ordering

Often passengers will start having a conversation with the flight attendant as he, or she is taking care of the first snack, and beverage service.  This is always the most busy service of the entire flight.  Making short banter is fine, but don’t try to have a heart-to-heart.  Save that for later when the fly girl is bored on her jumpseat.  Go back to the galley, as opposed to ringing the flight attendant call button.  Ask for a water, buy a drink, or buy a snack.  At that point,  start some small talk.  Ask her about her day, inquiry about he home base, or how many flights she has had that day.  Notice something about her, and mention it.  The goal is to increase face time with that flight attendant you are interested in talking with more.  Galley ordering is helpful with this.

Flight Attendant Baking

This is what happens in the galley during flights.  We bake and talk and be silly.

Must make conversation first

Once, on a six hour flight, I had a guy sitting in front of me, in my exit row, not saying one word to me the entire flight, and upon exiting the aircraft, he then handed me his card.  I eventually ended up going on a date with him, which was a HUGE mistake, and the worst date of my life.  I should have known it would be bad as he NEVER said anything to me, not having the balls to engage in conversation, and instead taking the cop-out of a card, and texting.  It shows social graces when you attempt a conversation.  Start with something, even if it’s, “Is this your normal route?”

Professional individuals have professional business cards

I had one of the most creepy passengers on one of my flights a couple of months ago.  Me, being my much-too-user-friendly-self joked around, engaging this passenger in the regular flight attendant-traveler banter, but this guy was just a few crayons short of a colorful dating box.  I would feel sorry for him, except that in almost five years, and with traveling all over the world, I have never felt so uncomfortable in a situation with an admirer.  My co-workers, and I were laughing hysterically as I tossed his number, written on a napkin, in the trash, as the late 30-something year old man had ended the note with ‘LOL.’  Trust me, I did LOL.  Writing a number on a napkin doesn’t mean you won’t get noticed, but it is essentially like applying for a job, and using hot pink scented card stock , something like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, only difference is that she did succeed in the end, and you will probably always be considered a big joke.

Flight Attendant Blog

Hot pink can be professional

Save It For Later

The best time to give a flight attendant your number is either right before initial decent, or as you are deplaning, So either 20-30 minutes before the flight is over, or when it’s over.  The downside of when it is over, is usually the flight attendants are more busy, and numbers are easily lost.  If you think a time is better than the end, that’s fine, just follow the ultimate guideline of being as natural as possible.

Have your 20-Second Pitch

I recently had a well dressed gentleman traveling on one of my flights.  I didn’t talk to him the entire flight, but as he was deplaning, we started chit-chatting.  In less than 30 seconds, he very naturally pulled out his business card, placed it in my hand.  He was professional, with a professional card, making the whole conversation unfold so naturally that I felt no pressure to contact him, or ignore him.  He was well dressed, well spoken, and confident.  He didn’t need me to respond.  He didn’t drag out the situation.  He had places to be, and I had planes to clean.

These tips will get you well on your way to asking out the flight attendant.  It’s important to give out your number, and not ask for hers.  Definite keys for success are an ability to read the situation, maintaining a natural calm, and good timing.  Please don’t be a creep, because flight attendants do not need that.  And, just so you know, don’t take no response as a rejection.  We fly girls have busy, and crazy lives.  I do feel flattered when a passenger gives me their number, and although, I don’t often respond anymore, I appreciate the story of it.  On the other hand, if you were sleazy, cheesy, or dumb, you probably didn’t make my day.

Good luck dating the flight attendant.  You will need it:)




  • Edward

    Hey Kara: What are you’re thoughts on cheesy/lame pickup lines? Two of my favourites I have heard over time are, Can I have you’re number? Because I seem to have lost mine. Another one that charms them every time goes… Is there a mirror in you’re pocket? Because I thought I could see myself in you’re pants! Ever had someone use a lame pickup line while you were on the job?

    I’m having the time of my life reading, and laughing at you’re blog. I wouldn’t want your job for anything. I’m already at my wits end dealing with the public in the health care field. I try to be the model passenger the extremely rare times that I fly, and do my best not to be a pain in the a** for the stewardess. Please keep the entertaining writing going.

    February 21st, 2014 2:08
  • Potinja

    Hi Kara ! how about male flight attendant ? also have a lot of girls giving their number to ?
    how to date him

    May 25th, 2015 18:23
  • Jay

    Hey Kara,

    In the last two years I have traveled to India 3 times and I have always had a long layover in South Korea which has allowed me the opportunity to go on mini tours in seoul! It is normal to find a flight attendant pretty and i usually forget about them once the flight is over. However, this time I can’t forget about the flight attendant that was serving in my aisle. It’s not just about the looks but also her personality. I have never thought something like this would happen. Sad thing is I didn’t even note her name down. Is there any way I can get her contact information? I only have the itinerary of the flight. Hope to get a response from you.

    January 16th, 2016 2:33

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