“My life is a project of seeing the good in places, no matter where I am sent, no matter where I live. Of appreciating the beautiful in myself, and not begging to be someone else. I’m on a search to find that which I was meant to do; a process of discovering who I am, and who I am meant to become.”- Kara
This is a gift to the women that I love: Mona, Becca, Michele, Esmy, Melissa, Bri, Jenny, & Maddie
This is gift to myself.
This is gift to you.
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My life seems to be a never ending project of acceptance. Mostly accepting myself. I find the adventure hard at times. I find that I want her adventure, because maybe that one won’t suffocate. Maybe that one won’t feel like I am being crushed.
In reality, I don’t want her adventure…
I just don’t want mine. Not right now. I daydream about past adventures. The moments of beautiful. The moments of easy, and maybe, the moments of not so easy. But, I want them because I know. I know that I have lived it already, and I know the outcome. The outcome is…
I am alright.
I am more than alright.
I am alive.
I am more than alive.
I want to know the outcome. I need to know the outcome. Who the hell reaches so high, and so far?
Can I do this I question? I wonder what the purpose was of six moves in one year. I question why the four to five years of hell happened, because what did I learn? I impatiently face the thought that the career choice that I made is responsible for my anxiety. It was an easy choice to make, but a difficult choice to handle.
I would love easy- just for one day, one night, one moment. Because, life is hard. Sometimes. It is so fucking hard.
- J.K. Rowling was rejected twelve times before her manuscript was purchased. She was a divorcee, and on welfare. She is now worth 798 million.
- Abraham Lincoln lost in political race, after political race. He failed in business. His sweetheart died, and he had a nervous breakdown. He is one of the most well-loved, and greatest Presidents in the history of The United States.
- Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison.
- Richard Branson is dyslexic. He dropped out of high school.
More than I want easy, I want faith. Because faith will hold me, making difficult livable. I want trust that this is just a season.
Somewhere I know. I know that seasons create interest, and interest creates beauty.
And beauty is what makes life worth living.
I need you to know, that you will be stronger for moving away, and feeling heartbreak. I want you to know that you are better for your loyalty. Remember, you don’t always have to be the strong one. I need you to know that you are ALWAYS good enough.
Take time. Take care of you. You are never alone.
My life is better because you are in it. Even in four time zones..
Love Love Love