Inspired by my Brother and Sis-law who shared a TED Talk with me, Jesse, and other stories from flying, dating, and my journey through my twenties:)
Thanks for reading,
The Twenty-Something Catastrophe
“Have fun. Don’t take life too seriously. You have time to figure it out.”
This is the common advice, among other gems, that I, and many Twenty-Somethings receive. The twenties are a time of exploration and understanding oneself. Personality changes more in the twenties then any other time of life. These years are formative and critical to a successful future. Eighty percent of the most defining moments of a persons’ life happen by the time they turn thirty-five. These are not facts that I came up with, but things that I learned while watching the following TED talk:
“30 Is Not The New 20”
Somewhere along the way, as my generation passed from tween birthdays, through the college years, and into adulthood, we have come to feel that we deserve these years of the twenties just for the purpose of fun. The years do not count or make a difference in the whole of our lives. No need for planning. Just for play. The sense of urgency in determining the future is lost. We, the Twenty-Somethings assume that once we are “ready,” our life will fall perfectly into place. Oh my misguided generation…
The idea is that the twenties are a developmental downtime. That what we do before thirty doesn’t matter. “I’ll sleep with him now cause we are just having fun. It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship or going to marry the guy.” “I know I don’t want to wait tables anymore, but it’s easy and the money is good.” “There’s another party, and whatever. I just want to drink and not care about anything.” These are VERY destructive thought patterns. As a twenty-seven year old, the choices that I make right now, when it comes to who I choose to date, how I choose to spend my time and money, where I live, and what I focus my energy on does have a huge impact on what my life will look like in my thirties and later years. Whatever choices I make now do affect my future relationships, earning potential, and overall health. And that is why I have been making some big girl decisions recently…
When you look at my life, it may appear that all I do is play. That I’m not really focused on my future. I’m single. I’m always traveling. I’m always having fun. Right? That’s what you see on the blog, don’t you? Well, I do play a lot. I do have fun. But, beneath all of the fun and silliness, I wonder and worry. Wonder what I am meant for, and worry if I’m letting myself become sidetracked and distracted by bad Twenty-Something advice. I am getting a clear and more defined picture of what I want my life to look like, but to be honest, I am scared of growing up. That my dreams are too big for me, and that I’m not going to get this right, but what I’m more scared of is one day waking up, and thinking, “Where the hell did all of those years go? I never did what I really wanted to do.”
Travel is a great teacher: Portugal
I do have a sense that the things that I am doing at this point in my life are going to benefit my future. I have already seen that with my work. The Flight Attendant Life may not be a longterm career path for me, but it has certainly helped shape who I am and what I want in life. The twenties that I’ve lived, and am currently living are NOTHING, absolutely nothing, like I envisioned. I honestly thought at this point, I would be married, spend my days at an advertising firm, and come home to babies. I don’t know if I want those things anymore. I think I want at least a third of what I listed, but I can’t say, cause I’ll I see is the unsettled chaos of my current state. I’m working on crawling before I sprint, which means I must center and settle myself.
I am seeing baby steps of turning into a grown up. This month my work trips have been accompanied with a very different energy. I quickly took to Jesse; a witty, funny, and smart 23-year old NYU graduate. She has the personality of a flight attendant, but she doesn’t fit the mold of a lifer. She’s thinking about what she really wants for her future. During our six hour mainland trips that we fly, and between asking passengers if they would like to purchase a diet coke and checking the lavatory’s status of gross, she and I have carved away “Personal Development Time.” This time is dedicated to making lists of dating must haves and can’t stands, and dream boards. We talk about ideas, dangling participles, and sharks. There are days we bake gluten free, vegan goodness, in the airplane ovens. The trashy gossip magazines, and the gossip in general has been refreshingly absent.
This is what we do:)
My Dream Board
Flight Attendant & Airplane Baking Goddess, Jesse
The talks and thoughts have been so critical for me. My 2013 has been crazy. I am exhausted. Moving five times in five months; working, dating, and playing, have been making me grow. And grow-up. This lifestyle is teaching me that how I am living now is not sustainable. I feel that my life is on pause living in Hawaii, and for that reason, I don’t like living in Paradise. I want to set up a ‘real’ life. Not one that makes “30 the new 20”. My life is making me question what it is that I really want. How do I want my life to look? The unsettledness has placed in me a timeline of six-months-to-settled. I need my own home. Living with eight people in a one bedroom apartment is unnatural. My blog and business have to be independent and profitable. No one else is going to make my dreams happen for me. The lifestyle that I have been living has quickly showed me that if I want my life to be a certain way, I will have to put in the time and energy to make it that way.
Because of the talks with Jesse, and my own personal reflections and prayers, the other day, I flaked on someone. I hate disappointing people, because I want to be liked by everyone (working on this), but in this situation, after saying my mind, and clicking “end” on my phone, I felt empowered. An, “I’m sorry, but spending time with you does not bring me any closer to my goals, but actually pulls me farther away.” He tried to argue, and tell me that it would just be fun, and why don’t I want to have some fun? Excuse me. I have enough fun in my life. I don’t need more fun. Thank you. Sleep and personal space?! Now find me some of that, for that is scarce.
Sleeping In Airports
I am not wasting my twenties. There must be a method to the madness. I know there is. I see it when I look at how tumultuous the earlier part of my twenties were and how influencing those years have been to who I am now. I love the surprises of life. I embrace the chaos, but can’t wait for it to settle. The next madness will be moving to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Permanently. I’m going to be settled, and I couldn’t be happier. Last move of the year. I promise. Then I can get back to traveling:)
And family? Brother, Sis-in-Law, Grandma? Don’t worry about me. I’m on a different track than the typical, but I have my bearings. Thanks for caring about me so much. Love you:)