Love em’ or hate em’- they are why flight attendants are employed.  This is in honor of some of the very great lines and thoughts that passenger share daily.  The things that passengers say are in normal print.  A flight attendant’s response is italicized, and what a flight attendant actually is thinking is (in parentheses).

 Things Passengers Say

“I have no seat back pocket.  Where am I supposed to put my iPad????” (you are going to find a lot more wrong with this flight than just no seat back pocket).

“Do these seats recline?” No

“Can I move to that row?”  No

“Do you have open seats?” No

Passenger:  “Where are we?”
Flight Attendant: “On and airplane.”

Passenger: “Where are we?”
Flight Attendant: “I don’t know.”
Passenger: “What?! You don’t know?”
Flight Attendant: “No.” (Why does it matter?  You bought a ticket to Hawaii.  I’m pretty sure that leaves only a couple of options.  The flight takes us over water.  Like, The Pacific Ocean Water??!  Maybe you have heard of it).

“My bag doesn’t fit in the overhead bin.”  (I applaud you on your observation skills).

Passenger:  “Water is not free?  Do you have, like…, regular water?
Flight Attendant: “No. Bottles of water.  For purchase.”  (last I checked, bottled water is water.  I’ve never heard of the brand ‘regular’).

“Do you have a pen?” No. (You wouldn’t give it back if I shared).

“Do you have pillows and blankets?”

“It’s cold.”

“It’s hot.”

“How much longer till we get there?”

“Can I go to the bathroom?”

“It’s your fault if my kid pees his pants.” (How is this my fault?)

“When can I go to the bathroom?”

Flight Attendant:  “Would you like to purchase any snacks or drinks?”
Passenger:  “Diet Coke, please.”
Flight Attendant:  “Ok, that will be $2.  We take Visa, Master Card, or Discover.”
Passenger:  “Oh! You have to pay for it?
Flight Attendant:  “Yes.”  (Thinks:  “Where were you during the fifth announcement about everything on this flight is for sale?  I’m pretty sure you got on the plane the same time as the rest of us).
Passenger:  “You don’t take cash?”
Flight Attendant:  “No.  Just credit or debit.  Visa Mastercard, or Discover.”
Passenger:  “Do you take Canadian?”
Flight Attendant:  (really?)

“Do you have food-food?”

“Oh my God!?! No more sandwiches! Phyllis! They are out of sandwiches!!”

“The Trolley [what flight attendants refer to as a cart] came by but the flight attendants serving said that the flight attendants in the back of the plane would be out shortly to serve my row.  Then you didn’t serve my row, so I asked the Garbage Girl, and she said that she would let you know what I wanted to order.”  (Yes..I operate a Trolley, and my job title is very appropriately, Garbage Girl.  This definitely made me laugh:).

“Is this your regular route?”

Passenger:  “Stewardess! I have trash.”
Flight Attendant:  (It’s not Stewardess any more.  And please don’t ring your flight attendant call button for trash).  Smiles. Nods. And only says, “Thank you!”

“What time is it?”

“How much longer till we get there?”

“What time do we land?”

“Where is the rental car place?”

“When will the seatbelt sign be turned off?”

“How much longer till we land?”

FLIGHT ATTENDANT:  “How much longer till we land?  These people!!!”

Just kidding.  Repeat:  “I love people.  I love people.  I love people.”

Love My Daddy


  • Alyssa

    Are you still on reserve? What is reserve like? Also, I just graduated high school. If I want to become a flight attendant, what should I be doing now in preparation?

    July 8th, 2013 19:39
  • Mariusz Ostasz

    Things Passengers Say – OMG, that is so funny.
    I found your blog. That is so cool. My wife is FA. Since she started a job I found out how much work is on FA’s hand.
    I keep hearing all these stories from her as well.
    Happy flying!

    April 14th, 2014 12:24

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