I stare, lost by the sight of the deep navy water as it moves and churnes. A�Maybe we are the same, the ocean and I; me always moving, always churning. A�I think I tried to make it stop once; A�the movement. A�I wanted to, or so I thought, but I misjudged a lot of things about myself. No one makes me leave, or travel, or spend so much time on airplanes. A�I just do. A�Maybe because I have friends all over the world. A�Maybe because I want to be all over the world. A�Maybe because I…
Maybe I don’t know why I won’t stay.
And I want to, but when I have been asked, “Please don’t leave.” I quietly listened, saying little, knowing what I would do. A�Knowing that the airplane had a departure time that I would make, even if I didn’t make the flight.
And as much as I look forward to my blogging days now that I have other editors and contributors, I’m too tired to write. A�This makes me sad, because this writing, my baby blog, is my favorite kind of writing. A�I could do without the rest right now.
My life is one of slight overwhelm, filled with mixed emotions. A�Five days in Hawaii, two days in California, and now waiting to get back to Florida…this is too much. A�And just before that, I was in Scandinavia. A�This is my normal. A�I’m tired of this normal. A�Or this normal makes me tired. A�I was in the same timezone for almost a week, and my body thanked me for that. A�I found that much permanency to be a miracle in my life.
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My friends, all over the country are picking up my homeless, or “location independent” slack. A�God, I am lucky. A�I know what spoiled is when I wake up to a Hawaiian sun, from the Penthouse floor of a chicly decorated apartment, grab the keys to the BMW so I can make my morning coffee run. A few days later, my reality changes, and instead, I wake up from a king size bed in my former home by the California beach, walk out the balcony to an ocean view, and tell stories to my “Second Mom” over a French Cafe breakfast. A�I know I am more than taken care of when I miss a 1am flight and randomly call a friend and former co-worker pathetically asking, “I am so sorry, but I am stuck. A�Can you please come pick me up at LAX, and can I crash on your couch?” A�Don’t worry about it. A�No problem at all was the response. A�Homeless, or location independence isn’t so awful with friends this rock solid. A�And settled. A�If more than anything, what this time in my life is teaching me is that friends are friends, no matter where and no matter when. A�And sometimes, it’s ok to need their help and their hugs.